When Everything Feels Like It Needs Fixing
Updated: Jul 9
This piece is the fifth part of the Making Life Workable series —
a lived exploration of what happens when something doesn’t feel quite right anymore,
while everyday life continues around it.
Each part looks at a different moment in that experience —
not to tell you what to do, but to help you notice what might already be there.
You don't need to read this series in order. Just start wherever something feels familiar.
If you're new to this series, you're welcome to continue reading here. If you'd prefer to begin at the start, Part 1 is here.
Part 5 — You’re trying to make things work.
To make the day feel easier.
To help things settle.
To feel a bit more ok again.
So you adjust.
You push through.
You look for ways to make it better.
But things still don't feel ok.
And slowly, it can start to feel like
everything needs fixing.
Sometimes, once something starts to feel off,
it also becomes easier to see how much effort has been going into holding things together.
And how quickly the instinct is to start fixing.
To look for what needs to change.
To work out what’s not working.
To try and make things feel more manageable again.
So the focus moves to:
Trying harder.
Doing more.
Adjusting things.
Looking for what might help.
Pushing through what feels difficult.
On the surface, that can look like you're doing something helpful.
It can look responsible.
Self-aware.
Like you’re doing the right thing.
But underneath, something else can quietly start happening.
When things don’t feel steady internally,
the attention often goes straight to:
how do I make this work? how do I make this better?
rather than:
Is this level of effort actually needed here — or is it coming from fear, urgency, habit, or the need to make things feel steadier? And is it actually helping?
That question doesn’t always come straight away.
Especially when there’s already a lot being held together.
Responsibilities.
Expectations.
Routines that feel like they have to be maintained.
So the energy keeps going into adjusting.
Trying to make things fit.
Trying to make it feel better.
Trying becomes the response
before there’s even time to ask
what’s actually needed.
And sometimes that’s needed.
But sometimes, the exhaustion isn’t coming from life itself.
It’s coming from how much energy it’s taking
to keep trying to make something fit.
That’s a quieter thing to notice.
Because it doesn’t point to something obvious that needs fixing.
It points to the possibility
that something about the way things are being approached
may no longer be helping in the same way.
Not everything that feels hard is wrong.
And not everything needs to be changed.
But when a lot of energy is being used
just to keep something going,
it can be worth gently asking:
What is this actually asking of me?
Is this about more support and adjustment… or is it about something not quite matching in the first place?
This isn’t about rushing to change anything.
It isn’t about pulling everything apart.
It’s about pausing long enough
for a different question to come into view.
It’s about creating a small amount of space between:
the feeling that something isn’t working
and the immediate need to fix it
So that something else can be noticed.
Sometimes that’s where things begin to shift.
Not because everything becomes clear straight away.
But because the direction changes slightly.
From:
how do I keep making this work?
to:
what is this taking… and does that feel right?
That shift can be subtle.
But it can also be the difference between
constantly trying to hold everything together,
and beginning to relate to things
in a way that feels more workable.
Seeing how much effort has been going into holding things together is one thing.
Feeling able to respond differently to that is often another.
This sits within Emotional Wellbeing — where emotions are treated as information, not something to fix.
Emotions don’t need solving. They need space to move.
Whatever brought you here today, I hope you leave with something that helps life make a little more sense, or perhaps opens the door to something you hadn't noticed before.
🧭 Where To Go Next
🔗 Browse by Experience — explore what feels most familiar.
🔗 A Note From Jen — reflections that put words to experiences many people struggle to explain.
🔗 Begin Here — understand this approach and where to begin.
🔗 Find What Fits — explore resources, support and practical next steps.
✉️ Get updates by email — receive new reflections and resources as they're shared.
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