What We Outgrew — Choosing What Supports Us Now

Reflections on what we let go of, what we’re still learning, and the small shifts that helped life feel a little lighter.

For a long time, it looked like life was ticking along as it should —

work, parenting, routines, responsibilities.

From the outside, everything looked fine.

Inside, it was crowded:

too many expectations, too many “shoulds,”

and no space to slow down long enough to notice how we were actually doing.

I ignored what my body kept whispering.

I didn’t know how to take a break — and even if I could, it didn’t feel safe to.

Stopping felt wrong.

I’d been running on autopilot for so long that pausing felt unfamiliar.

And I wasn’t the only one.

We were all matching a pace that kept us functioning, but not really connecting.

I kept telling myself that trying harder would make it better.

Burnout kept showing me that effort alone wasn’t the answer.

You don’t always notice when something stops working.

Sometimes it shows up as tension that never lifts,

a breath you can’t quite release,

or a quiet wish for more ease.

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🗒️ The reflection I couldn’t ignore

There came a point when school stopped working for our family.

The signs were unmistakable — the distress was there, even when the words weren’t.

It asked more of us than pushing through or “fixing.”

It asked us to question what we had quietly accepted as normal —

the pace, the pressure,

and why it was costing us sleep, health, and the patience our days needed.

That became the pivot.

The shifts looked big from the outside, but underneath we moved slowly and with care —

returning to steadiness, meeting what came, and remembering what mattered.

I didn’t want us to just get through the day.

I wanted us to have something left to give each other.

That required different choices. Some were hard, and we took them one careful step at a time, supporting all of us as best we could.

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🗒️ Choosing differently (before it made sense on paper)

We took it one uncomfortable step at a time.

Doubt travelled with us,

but so did an honesty we could finally hear.

We began redefining what felt like success for our home —

in ways we could sustain, not just get through.

For now, we’re learning at home because it’s what best supports our daughter’s wellbeing at this stage.

Every child and family is different,

and we respect that other paths work well for others.

Our aim is simple:

to create an environment where she can feel safe, curious, and able to learn —

and to keep checking in with that as life shifts.

We let go of our “forever” home.

I stepped away from my beauty and holistic business.

We travelled through Southeast Asia — not to escape life,

but to pause, breathe, and reconnect.

Right now, we’re in the middle bit —

living with my parents so I could pause full-time work,

build Conscious Detox Living, keep our days less demanding on purpose,

and put steadier routines in place.

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🗒️ What we outgrew

• overriding our own signals because “everyone copes”

• performing “fine”

• believing productivity equals worth

• fearing that slowing down would make everything fall apart

Before we could choose differently.

we needed to name what no longer fit —

not to judge it,

but because it wasn’t supporting our well-being anymore.

We adjusted slowly, choosing what was workable and sustainable.

Our values shifted from keeping up

to living with presence, well-being, and space to notice ourselves and each other.

We learned to let our bodies and intuition speak first,

and then used our minds to shape those needs into day-to-day choices —

a completely new way of doing things for us.

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🗒️ What we chose instead

• listening to our bodies first, then making plans.

• setting a pace we could sustain.

• valuing presence over polished appearances.

• creating an environment that supports who we are — not who we thought we had to be.

  
  

None of this was instant. Real change rarely is.

It meant slowing down enough to notice what wasn’t working,

and being honest about what felt heavy.

It looked like conversations at the kitchen table,

adjusting routines,

and making choices that felt doable —

not perfect.

Noticing parts of ourselves we’d overlooked,

and meeting them with steadier choices.

In simple terms:

less of what drains us,

more of what supports us.

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🗒️ What helped (offered gently, not as advice)

We don’t all think or feel in the same way —

in our family or any family.

Each person has their own wiring —

their own way of processing life —

even under the same roof:

different pace, energy, focus, needs, and coping patterns.

Our bodies try to keep us steady first —

that’s how we find enough capacity to function.

Understanding this shifted everything for me.

I realised that when we try to keep up with expectations,

we can slip into patterns that don’t match how we’re built

or what we actually need to feel well.

So we began choosing small, sustainable steps

that worked with our real capacity —

not against it.

From there, we found the space to build what we wanted,

instead of constantly managing overwhelm.

Once you have language for how your system works,

you can start responding with awareness instead of pressure,

even if you cant fully explain it.

That’s where steadier change often begins.

🗒️ A gentle heads-up — awareness, not judgment

Sometimes, choosing differently can unsettle others —

not because you’re wrong,

but because it feels unfamiliar to them.

Reactions often come from care, fear,

or what people have always known.

Change can stir discomfort

when it challenges what feels “normal.”

We noticed our shift in pace and choices had an impact on those around us too.

We came to understand we didn’t need to debate or defend our choices.

They’re ours to understand and live by.

We could acknowledge someone’s concerns with compassion,

without letting it steer our decisions.

That’s why we kept letting our pace be guided by care and steadiness —

protecting our energy and capacity,

and staying focused on what we were building together.

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🗒️ Our Story - Where we are now

We haven’t landed in our own place again yet.

We’ve learned that home begins inside—

in enoughness, steadier pace,

and room to breathe.

Our last house worked in many ways,

but it didn’t fully support how we wanted to live day to day.

We let go of a house to find home again —

in us, in our routines, values, and the way we live together.

Now we’re ready for the next place that supports each of us —

so we can show up with more availability,

not more performance.

We share this for anyone else in the in-between —

curious, cautious, and ready for life to feel more supportive than demanding.

We share what’s been real for us,

in case it names something for you.

If these words help:

You’re human. You’re responding to a lot And you get to choose what supports you next — when you are ready.

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💬 Questioning the pace of life?

You can share if you want to —

or sit with it and notice what stirs.

Where are you doing something because you feel you “have to,” not because it feels meaningful?

And before the next “should” or “have to” creeps in —

ask yourself gently:

Does this need to happen today — or is it the pressure talking?

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If you’d like more context, here are the other two pieces in this series…

🔗 The Glovers’ Story — Choosing a Different Pace 

🔗 What Grew From It — And What We’re Building Now

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Ready to Explore More?

🔗 Begin Here — your next step

🔗 More Notes from Jen — real stories that might help things make sense (blog)

🔗 Small Steps — bite-size guides for real life (coming soon)

🔗 Join the Email Circle — slower thoughtful updates

🔗 Follow on Instagram — quiet reminders when you need them.

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🗒️ If Parenting Feels Heavier Than You Thought It Would…

Some days it feels like you’re managing more than anyone can see.

You want to show up with care — and it’s exhausting.

Your own needs slip to the background. But they still matter.

However your family looks, you’re welcome here as you are.

At Conscious Detox Living, we make room for that.

Not with pressure. Not with perfection.

With honesty and plain language, at a pace that feels possible.

🗒️ If Something Stirred While You Were Reading… It Matters

Sometimes we don’t realise how much we’ve been holding

until a quiet sentence helps us see it.

If something here resonated —

or helped name what you’ve been feeling —

this space can hold that, too.

We share reflections and simple, real-life practices

for when life feels too fast, too loud, or when your body struggles to switch off.

No rush to be anywhere else. Just a place to start where you are.

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Your needs don’t disappear because you’re caring for others. Honouring them helps care last.